After months of editing and revising, my committee has determined that I can move onto the next step with my thesis (ie: it can be defended soon). To say that I was excited (and somewhat in a daze) is an understatement. I wanted to tell my father; while I know that his reality has been … Continue reading Sharing reality
Category: Caretaker
Dementia Caretaker’s ‘Self’-Care.
(this was begun on September 20. Most of it was written then). One of the things people often say when you are in the role of taking care of someone is that you need to make sure that you take time to care for yourself. That you need to ensure that you also focus … Continue reading Dementia Caretaker’s ‘Self’-Care.
“But He’s So (fill in the blank)!”
One of things that I absolutely despise when I mention that my father has dementia is the inevitable "but he was so intelligent" or "I can't believe it--he is such a thinker" or "really?! Are you sure? He is such an intelligent man, he must be just scatterbrained" (yes. I'm sure. It's not him being … Continue reading “But He’s So (fill in the blank)!”
Confabulating About Confabulation.
For the past several months, we have noticed a tendency in my father where he doesn't quite answer a question, but rather talks around and around and around and around and around and so forth. He used to do this when he was in posssession of his full mental faculties (because you know, Jesuit-trained abstract … Continue reading Confabulating About Confabulation.
A Crash Course in Dementia
On occasion, when I am so lucky, I teach a university course here and there. One of my primary objective with any course I teach (or guest lecture) is understanding the terminologies. I often feel that it is a good foundation to ensure we are all speaking about—and understanding—the same thing. I mean, one’s definition … Continue reading A Crash Course in Dementia
What NOT To Say
My family and I are very open about Apa's PART (a type of dementia). It's a disease, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Apa couldn't help it that his brain decided to rewire itself, which affects his memory, behaviour and all things associated with his cognitive abilities. But, what's a tad annoying is the … Continue reading What NOT To Say
“Since when?”
For the last several months, one of my father's favourite retort when confronted with something he does not remember is "since when?" He uses it. All. The. Time. "No, Apa, you cannot have that extra piece of cake." "Why?" "You have diabetes." "Since when?" (17 years). "Apa, maybe try to the decaf as opposed to … Continue reading “Since when?”
Making ice
While it can be difficult to navigate his ever changing reality, the day-to-day details of care-taking some with cognitive decline can be mundane. Routine is important, oh so important. I'm convinced that routine is one of those tenuous bridges that crosses the abyss, connect our reality with theirs. Without that particular bridge, it's hard to … Continue reading Making ice
In the beginning
About five years ago, my father, an octogenarian PhD and a thinker, a teacher -- one who adored complex abstract debates--began to cognitively decline. It began with him forgetting words, or not being able to remember certain details (okay, he was always of a scatterbrain, reifying the absent-minded intellectual stereotype). He complained that 'szavak kiesnek' … Continue reading In the beginning
Meandering His Reality 