After months of editing and revising, my committee has determined that I can move onto the next step with my thesis (ie: it can be defended soon). To say that I was excited (and somewhat in a daze) is an understatement. I wanted to tell my father; while I know that his reality has been … Continue reading Sharing reality
Dementia Caretaker’s ‘Self’-Care.
(this was begun on September 20. Most of it was written then). One of the things people often say when you are in the role of taking care of someone is that you need to make sure that you take time to care for yourself. That you need to ensure that you also focus … Continue reading Dementia Caretaker’s ‘Self’-Care.
A needed hiatus
It has been a while; a lot has happened the past few months with Apa and personally. I have started countless posts, but have not--nor could not--finish them. There were times that I couldn't look at a screen for days, weeks on end. Which is not exactly beneficial or helpful when trying to finish a … Continue reading A needed hiatus
“But He’s So (fill in the blank)!”
One of things that I absolutely despise when I mention that my father has dementia is the inevitable "but he was so intelligent" or "I can't believe it--he is such a thinker" or "really?! Are you sure? He is such an intelligent man, he must be just scatterbrained" (yes. I'm sure. It's not him being … Continue reading “But He’s So (fill in the blank)!”
Brutal honesty
I have written about this before, but one of the most heartbreaking thing about when a loved one has cognitive impairment is not only the loss of identity, but to see them struggle trying to preserve their dignity in spite of it. On occasion, you see the glimmer of who they were, and what they … Continue reading Brutal honesty
Confabulating About Confabulation.
For the past several months, we have noticed a tendency in my father where he doesn't quite answer a question, but rather talks around and around and around and around and around and so forth. He used to do this when he was in posssession of his full mental faculties (because you know, Jesuit-trained abstract … Continue reading Confabulating About Confabulation.
A Crash Course in Dementia
On occasion, when I am so lucky, I teach a university course here and there. One of my primary objective with any course I teach (or guest lecture) is understanding the terminologies. I often feel that it is a good foundation to ensure we are all speaking about—and understanding—the same thing. I mean, one’s definition … Continue reading A Crash Course in Dementia
A glimmer and some humour
While dementia is disturbingly difficult, there are moments that makes us laugh. Apa's observations are a bit off, as he really has no idea what's going on in the world (thank whatever god you want!). However, ever now and then, his dry sense of humour shines through. The other day, he has a rare glimmer … Continue reading A glimmer and some humour
What NOT To Say
My family and I are very open about Apa's PART (a type of dementia). It's a disease, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Apa couldn't help it that his brain decided to rewire itself, which affects his memory, behaviour and all things associated with his cognitive abilities. But, what's a tad annoying is the … Continue reading What NOT To Say
“Since when?”
For the last several months, one of my father's favourite retort when confronted with something he does not remember is "since when?" He uses it. All. The. Time. "No, Apa, you cannot have that extra piece of cake." "Why?" "You have diabetes." "Since when?" (17 years). "Apa, maybe try to the decaf as opposed to … Continue reading “Since when?”
Meandering His Reality 